About this gathering

This month’s focus is Executive Presence.

What does executive presence mean to you?

​Many quiet leaders receive feedback that we “lack executive presence” or “leadership potential.” When we hear this, it can feel like an invisible ceiling — something undefined yet powerful — standing between us and our next step.

​In this session, we’ll gently explore:

• ​How executive presence is defined — by us and by others
• ​The gap between how our leadership is experienced internally and how it’s perceived externally
• ​What feels true, misaligned, or unclear about common expectations of executive presence
• ​Where pressure, assumptions, or cultural norms may be shaping this feedback

​Rather than trying to “fix” ourselves, we’ll slow down and notice what’s actually happening — and what kind of presence feels most authentic and sustainable for us.

​We’ll spend time:

• ​Checking in
• ​Exploring the question through gentle, facilitated quiet reflection
• ​Identifying a small, personal experiment to carry into the coming month

​This is not a workshop or training. There’s no fixing, no pressure to speak, and no expectation to arrive with answers.

​It’s a shared space to notice, reflect, and experiment gently — alongside other quiet leaders.

Event Recap

The February 2026 Quiet Leaders Lab focused on Executive Presence—a topic that many quiet leaders carry questions, tension, and unspoken pressure around.

I opened the session by welcoming quiet leader participants into the space and guiding the group through grounding exercises, helping everyone arrive fully and settle into a slower, more reflective pace. From there, we checked in on last month’s experiment on visibility, noticing what quiet leaders had tried and what they learned along the way.

I then outlined the arc of the session and invited the group into a shared inquiry. Rather than trying to define executive presence once and for all, we explored it together—examining common definitions, noticing the gap between perception and intention, and observing what good executive presence actually looks like in practice.

We began with our guiding question: What does executive presence mean to you?

From there, I invited the group to slow down and surface how executive presence is commonly defined—both by ourselves and by others. Through shared reflection, several familiar themes emerged:

• Speaking confidently and decisively, including quick and assertive decision-making
• Being visible in meetings
• Communicating clearly and succinctly, often with the expectation of being inspiring or impactful
• Commanding attention, including the ability to “command the room” with confidence and trust
• Projecting certainty

I then guided the group into a deeper exploration of perception vs. intention, helping quiet leaders notice where they currently stand with executive presence, how they intend to show up, and how they may be perceived.

Through quiet reflection, we explored questions such as:

• What perceptions do you think others may have of you?
• What was your original intention in how you show up?
• Where do you think those perceptions come from?
• How does that match (or not match) how you intend to show up?
• How does that make you feel?
• How do you want to feel?

This created space for some very deep reflection. Many quiet leaders noticed how external perceptions often don’t match their intentions or lived experience. Participants shared moments of being misunderstood—due to tone, speed of speaking, age, appearing youthful, or other factors. For example, speaking quickly out of enthusiasm during a presentation being interpreted as a lack of gravitas; a calm or monotone delivery on procedural topics being perceived as not authoritative; or looking youthful leading to assumptions about seniority or leadership readiness.

I held space for these experiences without rushing to “fix” them—supporting leaders in naming what was happening, validating their experiences, and seeing patterns rather than personal shortcomings. We also acknowledged how disruptive moments—such as job loss or role changes—can prompt a re-evaluation of executive presence, even when someone previously felt grounded in how they showed up.

From there, I gently guided the group to shift from self-judgment to observation by exploring what good executive presence actually looks like, based on what quiet leaders have seen and respected in others. Participants were invited into a grounded comparison—looking not at what they lack, but at what is already strong, and where there may be room to grow within their control.

We used the following prompts:

• Think of someone you respect as a leader:
  • What do they do?
  • How do they make others feel?
  • How do they handle uncertainty or tension?
  • What are their behaviors?
  • What are their impacts?
• Where am I strong already?
  • Which of these behaviors do I already demonstrate?
  • Where do I feel grounded or steady?
  • What do people already rely on me for?
• Where is there a gap (with no judgment)?
  • Where do I feel less visible?
  • Is this a skill gap, a system issue, or a perception issue?
  • Which gaps actually matter in my context?
  • What is in the way of this gap (e.g., pressure, assumptions, or cultural norms)?

In our sharing, quiet leaders named many powerful qualities they already embody: wisdom, patience, the ability to make others feel valued, demonstrated trust, vision, and the creation of psychological safety. Alongside this, there was a growing awareness of how much unconscious bias is at play.

As a group, we named an important truth: while executive presence is something anyone can develop, we live in a biased world with narrow, pre-defined images of what executive presence “should” look like. These stereotypes—shaped by gender, race, age, and culture—are deeply ingrained and often internalized. Naming this together was a pivotal moment. It allowed quiet leaders to separate personal capability from systemic bias, and to see their challenges with greater clarity and compassion.

This awareness became a powerful foundation for moving forward. Rather than trying to conform, we focused on experimenting with executive presence in ways that feel authentic, grounded, and true.

We closed by designing a small, personal experiment for the coming month. I supported participants in identifying experiments that felt both doable and meaningful, such as:

• Starting to address a specific gap they identified
• Amplifying an existing strength
• Trying on a behavior from a respected leader until it feels true
• Experimenting with one small thing they usually avoid
• Noticing emotional responses when they feel misunderstood—especially subtle ones
• Listening to what those feelings might be pointing to
• Observing their own behaviors alongside possible misperceptions
• Noticing internal resistance to change, and whether it conflicts with a core value
• Identifying what support would make this easier

Participants left not with a prescription, but with clarity, self-trust, and a small, intentional step forward—grounded in who they already are.